Pure Randomness
by Minowse
Summary: In a world far away... Okay, a television close to you... There are CHARACTERS! Follow Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura as they encounter very unusual things... And learn new things!
1. The Spider and Sasuke

**Right. Before reading, you agree that... I'm not responsible if your brain turns to mush or pudding or any other thing... **

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"OH MY GOD! IT'S A MUFFIN!" screamed Naruto, running around in circles like the maniac he is.

"IDIOT! LOOK AT IT! IT'S NOT A MUFFIN! IT'S CIRCULAR AND... Well... IT JUST ISN'T A MUFFIN!" yelled Sakura.

"But... It tastes like a muffin..." replied Naruto, taking a bite out of the muffin thingy.

"SHUT UP! IT'S NOT A MUFFIN BECAUSE I SAID SO!" shouted Sakura, hitting Naruto on the head.

"... It's a muffin." corrected Sasuke biting on the other side of the muffin.

"See? I told you. It's a MUFFIN!"

"Oh Sasuke-kun..."

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!"

"You're right. It's a muffin, Sasuke..."

"... OH MY GOD! HE SAID WHAT I SAID! SAKURA! LISTEN TO ME!"

"SHUT UP, NARUTO! GO BACK TO YOUR RAMEN OBSESSION!"

"... I LOVE YOU, RAMEN!"

"That's better."

"... What a waste of time..."

"OH MY GOD! SASUKE, LOOK! IT'S A SPIDER!" shrieked Naruto, pointing to a paper spider hanging from the wall.

"OH CRAP! THAT THING IS DISGUSTING!" screeched Sasuke, pointing and panting like a little girl, "GET IT AWAY FROM ME! SQUASH IT! SQUASH IT!" While screaming, Sasuke began to move in a circular motion, constantly shouting bloody murder and finally running into a wall.

"I'm not picking him up." said Naruto, stifling a laugh.

"SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura screamed in horror, running towards Sasuke, "WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"

"...Did you squash it, yet?"

"No..."

"FORGET YOU! SQUASH IT ALREADY!"

"But Sasuke! What if it... WHAT IF IT EATS ME!"

"JUST SQUASH IT! I'LL LOVE YOU IF YOU DO!"

"... OKAY!" Sakura ran to the spider, picking up a shoe out of nowhere and placed it above the paper spider, ready to squash it (or should I say... Knock it off the string?) when Naruto popped up and threw shuriken at it.

"NO! THAT WAS MINE! SASUKE'S MINE!" cried Sakura, hugging Sasuke tightly.

"SAKURA! HE'S MINE!" retorted Naruto, tugging on Sasuke.

"HOLY CRAP! I'M NO ONE'S!" screamed Sasuke, gripping onto a door knob.

"Hey... 'Sup?" said Kakashi, walking into the room seeing the three in their odd moment, "I'll just... Leave... Yeah..."

"W-Wait! Kakashi-sensei! SAVE ME!" ordered Sasuke, struggling to get free from the two lunatics battling for him.

"Sasuke Once we're alone, how's about we visit a certain Sand genin, hmm?" suggested Sakura, still holding onto Sasuke.

"N-No! GET AWAY FROM ME! GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFFFFFF!"

"Sakura's not good enough for you! If you come with **me** I'll show you my Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Jutsu for you people who don't know -)!" said Naruto in a seductive tone.

"...That's a turn on," replied Sasuke, "Hey.. Wait... I'M NOT GAY!"

"Did someone call for me!" shouted a voice from a distance...

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**It's none other than... Bwahaha. Wait for the next chapter, my Soon-to-Be-Mush-Heads.**

**Now presenting... THE CHAT SPEAK VERSION!**

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_Naruto (I'll use "Narntu" because my friends like mocking the name): WASSUP!_

_Sasuke: I h8 spydrz._

_Sakura: STFU U MINE NUB HAHAHA_

_Narntu: mine_

_Sasuke: STFU U NOOBS!_

_Kakashi: hi_

_Narntu: I luv u sasuke_

_Sasuke: STFU STFU STFU_

_Sakura: STFU_

_Kakashi: bye_

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**Oh... How I fear for the English language... ONLINE! BWAHAHAHA!**


	2. OMG BATMAN

**So... How are you all, my mush heads in training? It's time for the next chapter! Anyways... Time to revisit the previous chapter.**

**-puts on an announcer voice-**

**PREVIOUSLY ON THIS FANFICTION!**

**Naruto and Sakura fight for Sasuke... Now, a strange person has arrived... WHO IS IT!**

**Find out on the next (or current) chapter!**

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"Who said that!" the trio shouted, synchronized.

"IT IS I! THE BLAH PERSON OF YOUTH OR WHATEVER!" screamed the voice coming from who knows where.

"OH MY GOD! IT CAN'T BE! IT'S—" Naruto yelled, pointing at...

"YES! IT'S ME! THE GREAT MAN IN GREEN TIGHTS... GAI!" Gai replied, revealing his identity to the tense group.

"You do realize that I said "gay"... Not "Gai"... Right?" questioned Sasuke, looking at Gai like he was a complete idiot. (In this case, he is... Right now.)

"... Of course! It was just a test! YOU FAILED! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHA..." Gai paused, looking at the three genins staring at him, "Ahahaha... Ha?"

"Dude... I should, like... Use that Kamehameha move I keep seeing on television..." said Naruto.

"YOU HAVE A COLOUR TELEVISION!" shouted Sakura, now interested in Naruto.

"Yes! And I love that show where everyone's hair sticks up and they blast people with a light thingy coming out of their hands! That's awesome, dude!" replied Naruto, content that he has a colour television.

"I just thought of something... If we have TV, then why don't we have guns and cars? We could shoot people and run them over. Our lives would be a lot easier." stated Sasuke.

"... SHUT UP! IF WE HAD THOSE, OUR REPUTATION OF BEING SHINOBIS WILL BE TERMINATED!" cried Naruto, spinning around.

"Naruto is right! If we had those thingies, it'd be mass chaos! I mean, seriously. We would have no use for... THESE!" exclaimed Gai, pulling out a roll of toilet paper.

"What the...?"

"Shoot. Let me try that again... We would have no use for... THESE!" shouted Gai, pulling out a copy of Come Come Paradise (that book Kakashi keeps reading).

"...Dude... You suck." said Naruto, stealing the book and flipping through the pages, "HOLY CRAP! I FINALLY FOUND OUT WHAT WAS IN THIS BOOK!"

"No, Naruto! You mustn't read this! IT IS ADULT MATERIAL!" warned Gai, trying to snatch the book back.

"Let me see that." commanded Sasuke, stealing the stolen book out of Naruto's stealing hands (that's hard to say).

"... Wow..." Sasuke said, flipping through more pages, "HOLY CRAP! WHAT THE HELL! THIS MAKES NO SENSE!"

"My turn!" stated Sakura, taking the book from Sasuke's hands, "HOLY RUBBER CHICKEN!"

"Looks like Kakashi's got some 'splainin to do..." said Naruto, taking back the book.

"No one says "splainin" anymore! IT'S AGAINST EVERYTHING GOD STANDS FOR!" scolded Sasuke.

"... I thought that was the anti-Christ..." replied Naruto, staring at Sasuke.

"SHUT UP! DON'T CORRECT SASUKE!" screamed Sakura who went into the kitchen and started making food for everyone.

"Hah. You lose. I win." said Sasuke, beginning to dance.

"Shut up! What're you, Batman!"

"... Maybe... NANANANANANANANA BATMAN!"

"... I'm Joker." called Naruto, applying make up on his face.

"I'm Robin!" exclaimed Gai, wearing a mask.

"OH MY GOD! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" shrieked Sakura in the kitchen.

"I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU!" declared Sasuke, running into the kitchen, "Wait... I don't want to save her... ROBIN, TAKE OVER!"

"But... What will I tell the reporters?"

"Say I'm taking a BRB."

"Don't you mean you ARE 'brb'?"

"No. 'BRB' means 'bathroom break'."

"... It means 'be right back'."

"Shut up..."

"HAHA YOU GOT TOLD!" screamed Joker— I mean... Naruto.

"... Yeah? Well..." Sasuke took in a large amount of air.

"What are you doing...?"

"Youwishyouweremebutyouarentsohahatoobadsosadevenbarneyisbetterthanyouyoustupididiotiwishicouldadmititthefactthatilovekakashisenseimorethananyofyoubecausehescoolandyourenotandgaiissolame—" Sasuke paused, exhaled and inhaled, "leeisstupidaswellbecauseheadmiresgaisogaiandleearegaybutyourgayernarutobecauseyousaidyoulovemeandtriedtoseducemeyoufoolhaha."

"...What?"

"Want me to repeat?"

"... YES PLEASE!"

"Okay." agreed Sasuke, taking in even more air, "Youwishyouweremebutyouarentsohahatoobadsosadevenbarneyisbetterthanyouyoustupididiotiwishicouldadmititthefactthatilovekakashisenseimorethananyofyoubecausehescoolandyourenotandgaiissolameleeisstupidaswellbecauseheadmiresgaisogaiandleearegaybutyourgayernarutobecauseyousaidyoulovemeandtriedtoseducemeyoufoolhaha."

"... Okay..."

"SOMEONE SAVE ME ALREADY!" demanded Sakura, panicking.

"Coming..." said Sasuke, slowly approaching the kitchen. Only to find...

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**HE FINDS A HIDDEN MONKEY THINGY! WHEEEEE! I mean... Well, no. :P Next chapter will be up my next week. Anyways... The long awaited... CHAT SPEAK VERSION! HURRAYYYYYYY!**

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_Narntu: hi. I narntu n im the main char of this stpid fanfic ting. shut up I hte u._

_Gai: i gai. im not gay btw._

_Sakura: sum1 save me from teh thing in the kichn._

_Sasuke: stfu nub_

_Me: NANANANANANANANA BATMAN! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!_

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**Right. Excuse the Batman thing. I kept doing that at school once... Now it's stuck in my head. TECHNOLOGIC. BWAHAHA!**

**----------**

**Mini side-update. I'll get the next chapter up at Sunday or so... I'm lazy. Haha. GO ME :D**


	3. Pokemon and Strip Poker

**Right. Sorry if this was kind of late. My mind went all... Like... Err... WELL! NEVER MIND! I still have homework, so... Yeah... I think I'm in trouble. Haha...**

**RECAP ON THE LAST CHAPTER!**

**Sakura screamed, Sasuke's Batman and is going to save Sakura... That's about all... FIND OUT WHY SAKURA'S SCREAMING, TODAY! BWAHAHA!**

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"OH MY GOD! HELP ME!" Sakura cried from the kitchen.

"I'll save you!" declared Sasuke, flying (err... Running...) into the room.

"MISTY JUST WENT BACK TO THE CERULEAN CITY GYM!"

"WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!"

"Hey! POKEMON'S ON!" screamed Naruto, watching TV.

"Wait a minute... IT'S A COLOUR TELEVISION! YO, DATZ AWESOME!" stated Sasuke.

"... That was unexpected." said Gai, staring at the... Pokemon fans in awe...? For ten minutes, the whole group sat in front of the television. Sakura continued crying over Misty and the Cerulean gym, Naruto kept trying to imitate Pikachu's sounds, Sasuke stared at the colour TV and Gai... You don't want to know what he was doing.

"Hey. We've got a mission," stated Kakashi, peering into the room, "What the... What is that!"

"Pika! Pikachuuuuuuuu!" screamed Naruto, using a transformation jutsu to turn into Pikachu.

"Look... It's yellow, brown... Red... Blue... Black... Green... That's amazing..." said Sasuke, mesmerized.

"Stupid Ash! You should've made Misty stay!" yelled Sakura, crying.

"... I like the move it, move it..." sang Gai, sleeping. After the show ended, Kakashi dragged team seven out of the kitchen and headed over to the Hokage's place to report a mission failure.

"... OH MY GOD!" screamed Sasuke, running around in circles.

"Sasuke-kun! Is everything okay?" asked Sakura.

"Dude... I'll save you! Just come over here and hold me... I MEAN... Yeah." said Naruto, falling in love with Sasuke (OMG).

"IT'S A SPIDERRRRRRRRRRRR!" shrieked Sasuke, climbing up a tree.

"HEY SASUKE! LOOK ABOVE YOU!" screamed Naruto, pointing at the greenest spot on the tree.

"What the..."

"It is I. The Leaf Village's handsome devil!"

"LEE!" screamed Gai.

"Gai-sensei?"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"COME DOWN SO I CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO PLAY STRIP POKER!"

"YES, GAI-SENSEI!" screamed Lee, jumping out of the tree with a deck of cards.

"Lee, Jiraiya told me to bring someone with me to play strip poker with him, Orochimaru and Tsunade!"

"Oh my god!"

"YES! And Sasuke..."

"What is it?"

"Orochimaru wants you to come."

"... Fine. Only if there aren't any spiders." said Sasuke, turning his head towards Naruto.

"Yeah. I'll have a pancake... ARE YOU SERIOUS! WE CAN PUT CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP ON THESE! AWESOME! I'd like a pancake with strawberries, whipped cream, maple syrup and chicken noodle soup on it, please." Naruto ordered.

"... Let's go, Naruto." said Sasuke, pulling Naruto away.

"N-nooooooooooooo! MY PANCAKE AWAITS ME!"

"Dude... That's so disgusting..."

"Did you know they serve PIE there as well?"

"... Let's stay for a few more minutes."

"Hehe..." smirked Naruto, walking back to eat his... Appetizing pancake...

"I'd like a pie, please." said Sasuke to a person who worked at the place.

"What kind of PIE?" replied the person who worked at the place.

"An apple pie, please."

"Coming right up. One apple PIE, chef!"

"Hey Naruto..."

"Yeah?"

"Why do they say PIE instead of pie?"

"... You'll find out later! Hehe..."

"Here's your order, sir. Enjoy your meal you asshole."

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING!" hollered Sasuke, looking at...

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**You've been You've been CLIFFHANGERED! Again. : So... What do you think it is? Why do they say PIE? Will Sasuke ever overcome his fear of spiders? Who will win strip poker! WHAT DID GAI DO WHILE WATCHING POKEMON!**

**Some questions are better left unanswered. For everything else, there's the next chapter. (Go, go... GO MASTERCARD!)**

**HERE'S YOUR CHAT VERSION!**

**-----------------**

_Sauce gay: culur tv. kewl._

_Narntu: pika?_

_Suck whore uh: misty lef teh jim._

_Guy: haha thts the spot..._

_Kaw kaw she: wtf pkmn! let go mission._

_Raw Cull He: strip poker. haha whore._

_Me: PIES! YES! THE FOOD OF THE GODS HAS ARRIVEDDDDDDDDDDDD!_

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**Stick around, my mush heads! All shall be revealed... NEVER:D Go, go, go monkey! Go! Go!**

**Wewt! -**

**Side Note: For everything else, there's MasterCard. :**


	4. The Secret Behind the PIE

**HELLO PEOPLE:D Right. I'm trying to update as often as possible, so... Bear with me. xD**

**Anyways... Time to do some random little replies to reviews and whatnot...**

**Muffinizer : Apparently, Naruto IS gay! Sasuke does hate spiders, now... And GO BATMAN!**

**Shadow39 : HELLO BRIGETTE! I'VE COME TO EAT YOU, NOW:D**

**Fullmetal Guitarist : Chyeah. Definitely OOC. Like, seriously... Sasuke and Naruto are, like, gay... And Sasuke fears spiders. :D**

**JustAddWater : YAY CEILINGS!**

**Okay. Now that that's over with... RECAP TIME!**

**On the previous... Err... You get it.**

**Gai invite Lee to play strip poker and Orochimaru invited Sasuke! Too bad no one actually bothers with invitations. Now they're ALL going! But when Naruto goes to eat some... Rather unique pancakes... Sasuke orders "apple pie" but everyone says "PIE". Why is that? FIND OUT TODAY OR TOMORROW OR WHENEVER YOU READ THIS! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

**-------------------------**

"HOLY CRAP! IT'S SO YELLOW!" screamed Sasuke, looking at the PIE.

"Of course, Sir Asshole. Here at the Chikusho (damn in Japanese) Restaurant, we serve the best PIE Klonoa has ever seen." replied the worked dude.

"Er... You're confused... Klonoa is in Tales of Symphonia. This is Konoha." Naruto corrected.

"... Back to me. WHAT THE HECK IS THIS THING!" screamed Sasuke.

"Dude... You don't know what PIE stands for?" asked Naruto, stifling a laugh.

"My dearest apologies, Sir Asshole. PIE stands for Pee Inside Elephants. You see... We extract urine from elephants living in the great land of cheese. From there, the turtle of the Hot Springs Village (Haha. Love Hina's turtle. Tama-chan!) removes the liquids, leaving only the chemicals and smells. At the Paypal Village, the chemicals are transformed into yellow powder and the yellow powder is sent to banks and restaurants. In banks, the urine powder is made into money and in restaurants, it's made into food... That's where you get cheese... Yellow chicken... PIE... Orange juice... Apple juice..."

"THAT'S ENOUGH! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYMORE!" Sasuke interrupted, about to vomit.

"So... Are we going to meet the legendary Sand Hens or not?" asked Gai.

"... They're sennins, Gai. Not Sand Hens..." replied Kakashi, reading his book.

"... I knew that. I was just... Testing you again. Yeah. YOU FAILED! HAHAHA!"

"Oh no... Not this again..."

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! ...LET'S GO, LEE!"

"YES, GAI-SENSEI!" shouted Lee, walking with Gai to... A purple house with purple doors, a purple roof, purple walls, purple furniture, purple juice, purple toilets, purple plumbing... You get the point.

"Welcome to my lair, pathetic mortals... And Sasuke." said Orochimaru, wearing... Purple clothes?

"... What the hell?" said Sasuke, looking at the purpleness of the place.

"SASUKE, YOU'RE MINE!" declared Orochimaru, grabbing a hold of Sasuke's neck.

"WHAT THE HELL!" screamed Sasuke, kicking Orochimaru.

"Yes... Will you be my Valentine, Sasuke?" asked Orochimaru.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! SASUKE-KUN IS MINE! ONLY MINE!" protested Sakura.

"No way! He's MINE! Sheesh! Sasuke, don't forget the fun we had... At your house." said Naruto, winking.

"YOU NEVER WENT TO MY HOUSE, YOU SLUT!" yelled Sasuke, frightened.

"... I did when I tied you up and tried to trick Sakura into thinking I was you. I got close to a kiss, too." replied Naruto, smiling.

"THAT WAS YOU!" exclaimed Sakura, punching Naruto.

"WE NEVER DID ANYTHING THOUGH, NARUTO!" stated Sasuke, still being strangled.

"Well. I WANTED to do something!" replied Naruto, winking even more.

"... Well... Let's play strip poker." said Orochimaru, letting go of Sasuke and walking into the purplest room in the 'lair'.

"I'M DEALER!" declared Sasuke, refusing to strip.

"... Fine..." said Orochimaru, crying.

**Twenty minutes of gambling later...**

"Dude... I can't believe Tsunade actually won back there..." said Naruto, depressed.

"Yeah..." stated Kakashi.

"Well, anyways, let's go eat some pizza!" suggested Sakura.

"I'm not eating _anything_ for a while." said Sasuke, remembering the PIE.

"HEY! LOOK! IT'S A..."

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**Again, I cliffhangered you. :) Anyways... Chat version time!**

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_Narntu: lol owned. tht PIE was yello._

_Sauce gay: stfu._

_Suck whore uh: strip poker time._

_Kaw Kaw She: i lose._

_Zoo Nah Day: i win lmao!_

_Or Oh Shimmer You: sasuke mine. yay_

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**HAPPY POP TARTS!**


	5. The Fruit Parade

**... Right. Time to reply to MORE REVIEWS! (Yay! I have sane and insane fans! ZOMG, THE SANITY:D)**

**Anyways... **

**Shadow39: Turtles will appear in the next chapter:D Or the one after the next...**

**Muffinizer: I like— I like crows! Chyeah! Kuh-row row row your boat, gently down the stream! Throw your teacher overboard and listen to her (or him) scream!**

**JustAddWater: NO! YOU MUSTN'T KEEP YOUR SANITY ANY LONGER! IF YOU DO, I SWEAR YOU'LL EXPLODE! INSANE IS THE ONLY TRUE PATH OF US SHADOW REALM PEOPLE! Wait... WTF? oO**

**ZackofANR: OMG! DON'T DIE! Okay... Fine... But if you die, you better not sue me:D –begs and rolls over-**

**RECAP TIME! THE MUSHROOM IS COMING! THE ORANGES ARE HERE! Okay... Back to the point.**

**NARUTO SAW SOMETHING! What could it be! A HIDDEN BLUE LIGHTNING BEAM! A PURPLE GORILLA! OR A GREEN HAMSTER!**

**-----------------------**

"LOOK! IT'S A BLUEBERRY!" shouted Naruto, crying.

"It's okay, Naruto. You're with me." said Sasuke, hugging Naruto and patting him on the back.

"Thanks, Sasuke."

"Anytime, buddy."

"Get a room." suggested Kakashi, reading.

"... Great idea!" exclaimed Naruto, half-naked.

"Eww! NARUTO, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" demanded Sakura.

"That's disgusting..." said Sasuke, snapping out of the gay thoughts he had... Literally gay.

"Aww... I was _so close_!" cried Naruto.

"... Shut up." said Sasuke, walking towards the rolling blueberry.

"'Sup, Sasuke?" asked the blueberry.

"Oh, large blue-headed one! I seek advise."

"Stop with the old talk."

"... Okay... Dude, give me some ideas or I'll smack you."

"That's how you do it! Ah... Yes... Perfect demonstration of how English has changed..."

"... Fuck you?"

"Oh man. This is getting my horny."

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"... Sorry. As you were saying?"

"... How do I get rid of a gay Naruto and a pink Sakura?"

"Give them what they want."

"What's that? Ramen? Alcohol? Sex?"

"I mean you."

"... WHAT THE HELL! NO WAY!"

"... Fine. Screw them."

"That's worse!"

"OKAY, JUST SHUT UP AND GO SMACK THEM!"

"... That's a great idea!"

"I know, eh? I'm the great Bloo Berry! FEAR ME!" announced the great blue headed one on crack. Anyways, Sasuke began to walk towards Naruto and Sakura, holding a kunai and ready to smite them.

"SASUKE! LOOK! IT'S A STRAWBERRY!" screamed Naruto, pointing at a red fruit.

"... YOU'RE RIGHT!" replied Sasuke, looking at the great red faced one.

"HEY! IT'S A LEMON!"

"OH MY GOD!"

"LOOK! THERE'S A BANANA!"

"SWEET!"

"AND A LIME!"

"THAT'S A FAT LIME!"

"I'M JUST PLEASANTLY PLUMP! NOT FAT!" screamed the lime.

"... Chouji!" exclaimed Sasuke and Naruto in unison.

"ACK! FRUITS! THEY BURNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" shouted Chouji, running... Err... Rolling around.

"Are you here for the Fruit Parade?" asked Bloo Berry.

"The Fruit Parade...?"

"The Fruit Parade is..."

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**THE FRUIT PARADE IS HERE! IT'S HERE! HERE HERE HEREEEEEEEEEEEE! CHAT VERSION TIME!**

**----------------------**

_Sharntu: OMG NEW NAME!_

_Shawshgay: nub_

_Shakoorah: i dnt haf alot of line in ths chp._

_Shawshawshe: its not a big chp._

_Shoo Sherry: omg froot parad!1!111one!eleven1!_

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**I got owned in so many ways... I suck! NOT! REMEMBER! SANITY IS FOR THE SANE PEOPLE! INSANE'S THE WAY TO BE!**


	6. Rest in Peace, Lard

**... I HAVE FANS! HURRAY! COLD AIR FOR ME:D**

**-fans self-**

**Anyways... So you're all wondering about the Fruit Parade, huh? Then read, my minions:D I don't like reading, but it's good to read FUN THINGS!**

**... Even if they scare the heck out of people. - OH WELL**

**RECAP!**

**Chouji's a fat lime... Sasuke is with Bloo Berry... WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD! As we know itttttttttttttt...**

**---------------------**

"The Fruit Parade is when all us fruits gather 'round the villages... I was sent to this one to find out why us fruits never return, every year..." said Bloo Berry, falling asleep.

"... Yeah... I wonder why..." replied Naruto, staring at Bloo Berry.

"So... Do you taste like blueberries?" asked Chouji.

"OF COURSE!" yelled Bloo Berry, waking up.

"Awesome," said Chouji, pulling out a fork, "I'll teach you why you all disappear!"

"... STAY BACK! I HAVE..." threatened Bloo Berry, pulling out a light saber, "THIS!"

"HOLY FUCK! ISN'T THAT STAR WARS!" exclaimed Sasuke, amazed by the colour of the light saber.

"... SCARY STORY TIME!" yelled Naruto, turning off the lights when all of a sudden a crazy, random, Korean girl named Angie popped up.

"PUHAHAHAHA!" (This is for you, Angie :3) shouted the maniacal girl with the flashlight's light brightening her creepy facial expression.

"... OH MAH GAWD!" shouted Sasuke seeing the girl put a spider on her shoulder and moving towards him, "A SPIDER! RUN AWAY!"

"... I heard people had heart attacks after watching The Grudge... Japanese version..." stated Angie, staring at Naruto with big eyes.

"... SASUKE, COME BACK! I NEED A CUDDLE BUDDYYYYYYYYYYY!" screamed Naruto, running away with Sasuke. After being left alone with Bloo Berry and Chouji, Angie dropped a trail of bread for Chouji to follow to the witch's house.

"YOU'RE MINE, BLOO BERRY!" exclaimed Angie, ripping off Bloo Berry's jaw—err... Wait... OH!—exclaimed Angie, eating Bloo Berry's delicious stomach then running away.

"SOMEONE CALL THE MEDIC! I'M DIEING HERE!" cried Bloo Berry. Once the ambulance arrived, Bloo Berry had already let out a huge wave of blue urine. I mean... Blue juice.

"WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN ME!" cried a medic, licking the blue juice off the ground.

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!" shouted another medic, eyes opened widely.

"OH MY GOD! JUICE!" screamed Chouji, running to the liquid remains of Bloo Berry, joining the medic in cleaning up.

"Rest in peace, Bloo Berry. You were a fat, good soul... With a gangster side of you that you never showed." said Sasuke, dumping a truck load of soil on top of the remains and placing a tombstone on the pile of soil.

"Rest in peace, Chouji and Medic One." Naruto added, remembering that they were cleaning the remains.

"Oh... Shit." said Sasuke, running away from people ready to sue him.

"TURTLE!" yelled Sakura, picking up a turtle which bit her, "OUCH! THAT HURT!"

"Hey! CROW!" exclaimed Kakashi, smiling as the crow pecked his Sharingan eye out.

"YAY! WALRUS! YUMMY LARD!" shouted Chouji happily as he rolled to the walrus, cutting it up and eating the fat.

"OH MY GOD! SPIDER!" screamed Sasuke, hitting a spider on the head.

"... HEY! NICE TO MEET YOU..."

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**YOU GOT OWNED, NUBS! I mean... Yeah. ANGIE, I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE MAH BISH, OKAY? ;D**

**Joking. :D**

**CHAT VERSION 0.6! Or... Something...**

**--------------------**

_Narutoon: new name agen, plz. omg fruit parade!_

_Anchor: haha owned nub_

_BBQ Sauce: omg spider! runssssssssssssss!_

_Socks: turtle_

_Blueberry: omg i ded_

_Chopsticks: yay lard!_

_--------------------_

**NAME GUIDE!**

**Narutoon: Naruto**

**Anchor: Angie**

**BBQ Sauce: Sasuke**

**Socks: Sakura**

**Blueberry: Bloo Berry**

**Chopsticks: Chouji**


	7. Side Story! Elementary, Dear Naruto

**Make sure you watch yourself when walking alone... This is a pedophile warning. I'm serious. WE ARE COMING TO GET YOU, RIGHT NOW!**

**Really, I'm serious. Please don't run, either. It takes a lot of energy to catch you little kids. ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE FAT! IT TAKES THE TRUCK TO PICK YOU UP!**

**Angie, I know this will scare everyone, but it's fun. I FREAKING LOVE MY STUPIDITY! MWAHAHAHA!**

**Okay, whatever...**

**RECAPITULATION! I mean... RECAP!**

**Chouji died but came back to life, somehow. He screamed for a walrus... And Sakura said hello to someone... THE END!**

**--------------------**

"Hello, Man Lady-san!" chirped Sakura, smiling...

**Sorry, this is meant to be a SIDE STORY CHAPTER. ... Or filler. Whichever you want to call it... :D**

**--------------------**

_Elementary, my dear Watson. Elementary._

Kakashi was reading some silly Sherlock Holmes when Naruto pounded on his door.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI! COME OUT! SASUKE DISCOVERED A NEW SPECIES OR SOMETHING!" screamed Naruto, pounding harder.

"Coming, Watson." replied Kakashi, putting the book away and opening the door.

"Watson? I'm Naruto, illiterate fool."

"I just finished reading some Shore Puck Combs books."

"... Shore Puck Combs?"

"I meant Whole Whack of Poems."

"... Okay... Enlighten me with your haikus on the way there."

"... I mean... I meant Soap Bar."

"How'd you get Soap Bar from Whole Whack of Poems!"

"I do not know."

"... Shut up."

"Naruto is gay.

Sakura is not happy.

'Cause the emo's gay (Emo directed to Sasuke for no reason. -)" recited Kakashi.

"I'M NOT GAY, ASSHOLE!"

"KAKASHI-SENSEI! LOOK AT THIS!" yelled Sasuke, poking a dodo bird.

"MY TURN, SASUKE-KUN!" exclaimed Sakura, poking the dead dodo birdy.

"It's a dodo bird." said Kakashi.

"A yoyo bird! COOL!" stated Naruto.

"How do you know it's a dodo bird?" asked Sasuke.

"Elementary school, my dear gay friend. Elementary school." said Kakashi, smiling.

"... 'da fuck!"

----------------------------

**That was short, sue me. :D**

**Anyways, that was a side chapter... So don't get too worked up about seeing a continuation of it, okay? -**

**No chat version for this. :(**

**Be sure to be ready for Man Lady-san in the next chapter!**

**ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU!**


	8. The Randomness is Back

**It's been such a long time my loyal mush heads, but now I welcome you to the story again. I'm also planning on making a new story that's not so random, but... Whatever! Right. So I left you all with a silly little side chapter that has to do with Sherlock Holmes and whatnot. However, we're back on track with my birthday on July 28th.**

**I LOVE YOU ALL!**

**Okay, most of you. Okay... Some of you... Be quiet.**

**----------------**

"Man Lady-san!" shouted Sakura, jumping for joy.

"Oh no... Not it... ANYTHING BUT IT!" cried Naruto, holding onto Sasuke.

"It's okay, Naruto. It's only it." comforted Sasuke.

"Sasuke-kunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn" greeted a black and white creature, walking towards the gang.

"NO! STAY AWAY FROM HIM!" warned Naruto, practically strangling Sasuke by hugging him.

"Hey. Stay away from the panda." said some guy (some cool guy) walking into the scene with an absurd blue sauna robe thing.

"Yo." said Angie, waving at the stranger and another stranger.

"ANGIE! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" shouted an insane (really insane) girl, hugging Angie.

"It's Elaine! It's Jono! It's Angie!" shouted the panda.

"Hey Chocolate, you emo panda, you." said Elaine (which is me).

"WHY ARE ALL OF YOU PEOPLE ENTERING THE SUMB DTORY!" cried Naruto, making out with Sasuke.

"... Dumb story" corrected Elaine.

"Shut up." said Naruto.

"Elaine, I love you, too." said Angie.

"ALAS! YOU FINALLY ADMIT YOUR UNDYING LOVE FOR ME!" shouted Elaine, jumping for joy.

"No, shut up." said Angie.

"DAMN YOU!"

-----------------

**So... Did you enjoy that messed chapter? I left you all hanging for this short piece of crap. Too bad for all of you, though. I have a bomb shelter set up to keep mobs away for about six whole seconds. Isn't that awesome? I call it the... Bomb Shelter to Keep People Away v. 0.06!**

**Anyways, no chat version for this, either. But I'm going to explain something about this chapter.**

**-- Who are Jono, Angie and Elaine?**

**Jono, Angie and Elaine are dumb idiots which happen to be friends, plotting to take over the world. Nah, just kidding. Here's a short bio of everyone.**

**Jono – Some cool person I know. He seems to attract a lot of gay people online and he's good at video games. Seriously, he owns me.**

**Angie – My bish forebar. Nah, just kidding. Angie's also a cool person I know. She seems to have an obsession with Korean duds which scares me often.**

**Elaine – It's me, the dumbass idiot you all know and love. Or hate. Either way, I wrote this story, so love me in some way. Oh! I know! Love me by hating me so much!**

**-- Man Lady-san?**

**Man Lady-san was meant as a joke directed to the emo panda, Chocolate.**

**-- Angie and Elaine together?**

**Although Muffinizer denies loving me, it's totally true. She loves me so much, she can't resist loving me! ... Oh crap. I better hide before she hits me for writing this...**

**Good bye my mush heads!**


End file.
